


Tolerance is a very dull virtue

by 1987lostboy



Category: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Genre: 16 is the age of consent in the UK though, Alternate Universe - Tudor Era, Angst, Boyfriends, Courtship, Cute, Eddie's a bastard, F/M, Fluff, Forced Marriage, Freddy and Eddie are brothers, Freddy is 16-18, Freddy is the only official heir, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Larry is 26-28, Lord Joe Cabot, Love Letters, M/M, No Underage Sex, Period Typical Attitudes, Period romance, Romance, Secret Relationship, Soft Freddy, age gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23669293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1987lostboy/pseuds/1987lostboy
Summary: Tolerance is a very dull virtue. It is boring. Unlike love, it has always had a bad press. It is negative. It merely means putting up with people, being able to stand things. - E.M ForsterFrederick Newandyke is the youngest (but only legitimate) son of a Lord, Lawrence Dimmick is a bright but poor man who becomes Lord Cabot's apprentice through a stroke of pure luck.
Relationships: Freddy Newandyke/Larry Dimmick
Kudos: 74





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine's making me sad, so have this sappy angst filled long shot.
> 
> PSA: This is a period romance Au in which marriage and relationships occur much younger than they are supposed to, hence why Freddy is not fussed by Larry being ten years older than him. Their relationship does not become anything less than pure until Freddy is 18 (towards the end of the fic)
> 
> Also this is modern but like if people and society in 2020 had not progressed at all from the Tudor times, progression comes in small forms like wealthy gay people being tolerated etc. 
> 
> This AU is based off loosely off the Tudor Era.

Freddy first noticed Lawrence Dimmick from afar, he was older, handsome yet always looked troubled, Freddy stole glances with him when passing him in the family carriage, he always looked contemplative which made a change from the usual adoring stares of the public. The man became his father’s law apprentice when he was just 15. He remembered the soft look Lawrence had given him when they first met properly, he’d shook his hand gently like they were ages apart when it was a simple ten years. Freddy had felt it then, the flame igniting underneath his skin where Lawrence had touched it, he’d blushed to high heavens he was sure of it, but if he did Lawrence made no mention of it.

“I’m Lawrence, Lawrence Dimmick. It is a pleasure to meet you Young Lord Cabot”  
Dimmick held his gaze once again but this time there was a look of intrigue in his muddy eyes.

“Call me Frederick I insist”

“Then I must also request that you call me Lawrence”

The touch of Lawrence’s hands cupping his lingered even after he had pulled back his hands. Silence hung between them for a few moments until Freddy mustered up enough courage to open his mouth. “I- “

“Dimmick! I don’t pay you to bother my family. We have a complex case here!” 

His father’s firm tone (although from a distance) left no room for refusal and Lawrence looked at him apologetically.

“It appears I am needed. Perhaps I shall see you around the estate?”

The warmth in Freddy’s chest spread through his entire body, the blossoming of a crush. 

“Yes, you can be sure of it. Congratulations on receiving my father’s apprenticeship”

Lawrence ducked his head shyly “Thank you, Frederick”

Over the course of the next year Freddy’s path crossed with Lawrence’s far too much, Lawrence became the messenger for he and his father and although Freddy would never be unhappy to see the man he was powerless to fight his growing feelings for Lawrence.  
Lawrence proved to be so much more than a handsome face, he was gentle and he made up for his naturally quiet nature with unspoken acts of kindness, tying Freddy’s laces when he spotted them undone, ferrying his letters to his unofficial brother with no word to his father (he wasn’t supposed to be aware of Edward’s existence), Lawrence’s character only made him a more attractive prospect.  
This was painful for Freddy because he was painfully aware of two things, one, that he was no developing as fast as other boys, his brother was only two years older and yet looked like an entire man already and two, that homosexual acts were openly forbidden, especially so in lower class communities, Lawrence belonged to a lower class background and whilst it was tolerated for Freddy to fool around with one of his school friends, it was not so tolerated for men like Lawrence.   
And if Freddy’s father discovered it, Lawrence’s hard work would be for nought, he would lose his apprenticeship, his livelihood and for what? To roll around in the hay with a naïve scrawny aristocrat like himself.

Then there was the whole ‘did Lawrence even have those affections for him?’ question, those in his father’s employ often were kind to him, they felt that had to be, what if Lawrence’s brief attentions were really founded in attempting to gain Lord Cabot’s favour. There was no way to tell, sometimes Freddy thought he caught Lawrence looking at him softly, but whenever their eyes met the elder man would always look away first and make hollow excuses about returning to work when the truth was that his daddy didn’t oft notice his presence, therefore didn’t notice his lack of presence.

The breaking point arrived on his 16th birthday. His father had retired early from work at lunch in order to accommodate a fitting celebration, even his mother had emerged from her chambers. Lawrence had organised Edward to be there (as a friend of course and in the company of his own close friend – Freddy suspected lover - Victor) and it promised to be a pleasant day. 

Freddy dressed in his Sunday best (he wasn’t religious, but the church was an effective contact making scheme, he suspected that was why his father went every Sunday) and ignored how self-conscious he felt, his Sunday best consisted of a pale blue suit with tan brown boots coming up to his thighs, they’d been modified to accommodate his years’ worth of growth but they still felt tight against his skin. He wondered, not for the first time that day, if Lawrence would wish him a happy birthday, if he would find a way to see him, he surely knew it was his 16th, he was legal to engage in relationships now, he was no longer such a child that Lawrence would have legal grounds to refuse him.

His mother received him at breakfast and told him the days plan.   
Still nothing from Lawrence.   
His mother told him that his father would join them in the ball room at 12 and that Lawrence had assured her that his friends would arrive shortly after 12, when they had finished their advanced tutoring.  
Freddy wanted to inquire about Lawrence’s whereabouts but knew that such talk, especially regarding men seen only as servants, was unsavoury in the presence of a lady.

Then his mother broached the cursed subject, a subject so bad it had caused many an argument between him and his traditional father. “You’re sixteen now Frederick. Have you thought about marriage?”

Oh marriage, the curse upon the Oscar Wilde sorts of the world. Freddy had no interest in the women of the aristocracy, they always had a sort of plastic sheen about them with their restrictive corsets and exposed bulging breasts. Freddy could only see Lawrence truly, he could recount every feature of the man, how his brow furrowed when he was working on a particular trying case, the way his lips quirked when he found something particularly amusing, the way he looked lazing outside with the sun highlighting his features to the world.  
No woman could compare to him.   
Freddy suspected no woman ever could.

“Frederick, my dear?” his mother persisted, drawing him out of his thoughts coaxingly.

“No mother. I have not thought about marriage, I am too much a child” he didn’t think he was too much a child at all, but the excuse served to send his mother into her memories of him in his infancy.

“I would agree…but your father- “

“I’m sure you could convince him otherwise” Freddy didn’t beg, but he was as close to it as he could be, his mother gave him a wobbly smile and promised him she would try her best to remind his father of his obvious youth and inexperience.

They ate in silence after that, his mother suggested that he fetch his coat from his wardrobe because ‘the weather has an awful bite today’. On the way to his room he caught a glimpse of Lawrence carrying files to his father’s office, it was a good thing he’d loosened his laces, he waved his hand to flag the man down.  
“Lawrence! May I induce you to tie my shoes?”

Lawrence faltered in his steps and smiled down at Freddy stiffly “I am in such an awful hurry; can you not ask it of Howard or Pierre?”

Freddy’s heart gave a pitiful tug.   
Howard and Pierre were his personal servants, but he’d assumed that Lawrence liked the job. 

Freddy turned his back on Lawrence and remarked back sharply “Of course, you were simply convenient. Tis no great matter Mr Dimmick. As you were”   
If Lawrence retorted, Freddy did not hear it.  
He was in such a mood by the time he arrived in his room that he almost missed it.   
The folded piece of paper placed on his desk, the paper on top of a wrapped square bundle.

Freddy dropped his coat in his eagerness to get his hands on the peculiar objects. The young lord sat down on his bed gingerly placing them in his lap. His heart was racing in his chest and he felt faint, he did not wish to be disappointed, he knew that even a small glimpse of hope was a danger to his heart. But what was he to expect, who else would dare to enter his rooms? Lawrence had been in his rooms a handful of times, whether it be to help him pen a letter or simply to greet him briefly on his way to one of the offices on the same floor.  
He opened the note first and immediately recognised Lawrence’s unsophisticated scrawl.

Frederick,  
I wish you a happy birthday and only apologise for my absence at the celebrations, I have been tasked with continuing your father’s work for the day but, I would like to see you this night. I will be by the estate steps at the stroke of midnight should you also wish to see me.  
Enclosed is a copy of a book I so coveted at your age, I hope it can bring you joy as it did me and that your meeting with Edward and Victor go well.

Yours ever faithfully, Lawrence Dimmick Esq.

Had Freddy been a young lady, he may have squealed but instead he simply memorized each and every word of the note before he tucked it into his breast pocket, determining to store it somewhere where it could not be found by prying eyes.   
He felt lighter than he ever had before, Lawrence’s behaviour in the hallway could have genuinely been down to being burdened by an extra load of work and Freddy cursed himself for his aloof behaviour. Lawrence wanted to see him, they were going to meet at the very dead of night, how very secret, how mysterious, like there was a secret between them now.   
Freddy’s hands found the book’s wrapping and slowly undressed it, like a lover he held the book in his palms like it was holy litany.  
His heart could have stopped dead in his chest at the title, it was E.M Forster’s Maurice, a known yet elusive book detailing homosexual love between men of both similar and differing standards. Lawrence had implied he had read it many times, he had owned it since 16 after all, the gift struck Freddy as deeply sentimental, if the book meant so much to Lawrence, a late night comfort for his lonely ailing heart, then making a gift of it must mean he did not think himself so lonely anymore.

Opening the book Freddy discovered a quote “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring” – Oscar Wilde, “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”

He sighed deeply, letting himself feel for once instead of repressing his emotions, he felt happiness, euphoria but most prominently nervousness, he had never been in such a situation, sneaking out in the night to meet someone, who he was certain he was enamoured with and who, he was now certain was of the same romantic and sexual disposition as him. He wondered what he should wear, he couldn’t remain in his Sunday suit until midnight, maybe it was best for him to go in his night clothes, that way if he was caught an excuse would come to him easily enough.

In the end he could not dwell on their meeting too much, he remembered that he was expected in the ball room to begin celebrations, he did not want to arouse suspicion already.

He was greeted by Eddie first, his brother rushed towards him, enveloping him in a tight hug “Happy birthday Freddy!”  
Freddy smiled into his brother’s shoulder, at first their letter correspondence had been cold and a little awkward but after a year or so of it, they’d fallen into a familiar affectionate repertoire. 

“Good day Eddie! Good day” 

Freddy saw his father’s shocked expression from the corner of his eye, Freddy had not specified which Edward he had invited.  
Eddie’s friend Victor lingered awkwardly near the two of them awkwardly until Eddie beckoned him to join the hug “Don’t be so tepid Toothpick!” he’d scolded.  
Freddy’s letters with Vic veered on the more ridiculous topics, Vic was outwardly cold as a default, but he had a killer sense of humour.

“Nice ta see you Freddo” Vic muttered squeezing Freddy and Eddie in his arms, despite being the exact same age as Eddie Vic was taller and bulkier and being in his arms made both Eddie and Freddy look far shorter than they were.

“Nice to see you too Vic”

The three boys mingled for a few minutes more before Eddie and Vic headed towards the dinner table for some food and Freddy made his way over to his parents, who were sat a distance apart from each other pointedly ignoring the other’s existence.

“Mother? Father?” 

They both smiled at him, his father moved to hand him a large box from the present pile on a side table

“Happy sixteenth my son. I hope you enjoy your present!” Freddy immediately knew from the look on his fathers face that he hadn’t picked the gift out himself.

“Thank you kindly my lord”

His father ruffled his hair “You won’t mind if I return briefly to the office? I have left Dimmick in charge of some very important documents and I wish to check he is not dawdling”

Freddy shook his head lightly, he wasn’t used to his father's presence anyway, he was used to being the family bauble, he was brought out at dinner parties and paraded around as the heir apparent to his father’s title and estate, his father highlighted how polite, handsome and well educated he was for his age and then he was dismissed like a servant. In all honesty Freddy didn’t think it fair that the estate would be left to him, not when Eddie was truly the eldest son of Lord Johnathan ‘Joe’ Cabot. He didn’t even want the stupid title, or the estate, he would be happy toiling away as a private law and politics tutor for some impoverished family, aiding them to make the lives of their children much improved.

The rest of the afternoon passed unbelievably fast, Freddy’s father had one of his underlings pick some luxury chocolate for him, paired with a regal set of silk pyjamas, his mother picked a few hand signed law classics (a welcome change from his usual go to picks), Eddie gave him an expansive letter writing set (to ease their correspondence), Vic shoved a hunting knife into his hand hastily and that was it. But his favourite gift remained the copy of Maurice, he’d snuck off for a few minutes during dinner to pull up a floorboard and hide his treasures there.

Eddie and Vic left around 6pm, making some excuse about needing to be home but Freddy had an inkling they weren’t leaving early to separate, it hadn’t been hard to spot the love bite just under Eddie’s collar Afterall.  
After Ed and Vic were gone his mother went back to her room to continue whatever she did up there all day, which Freddy suspected was nothing and his father hadn’t returned from his ‘quick’ trip to the office, Freddy only hoped that his father wouldn’t keep Lawrence long enough for him to miss their meeting, now it was getting closer to the time his excitement and anticipation was heightened.

He wondered if Lawrence was a fan of love bites, he wasn’t stupid after all he knew what happened when boys his age experienced touch. If he kissed Lawrence, if Lawrence kissed him, where would they draw the line? Would he too be covered in little marks of private possession like Eddie so blatantly was?  
Midnight came too soon, Freddy’s hands shook as he changed into his new pair of pyjamas and combed his hair down with his hand in the bathroom, he truly felt like a lover, even though there had not yet been any romantic word between he and Lawrence, his heart was naïve and hopeful, he tried to keep the bitter thought of rejection from his mind.

The walk to the steps was one of pure fear, he was scared that he would be caught and that so would Lawrence and together they would be condemned, condemned with no true crime. Nonetheless the image of Lawrence in the light of the night spurred him on, he’d brought with him the copy of Maurice and a few of his chocolates to share with Lawrence.

Lawrence Dimmick sat on the steps bathed in moonlight really was a sight, Freddy flushed immediately upon the mere view of the man. He slowly settled beside Lawrence placing the book between them. “I am sorry I was impolite earlier”

Lawrence laughed quietly “You were irritated that I didn’t assist you, that I can understand, what I cannot understand my lord, is why you are in pyjamas?”

Freddy cautiously laid his hand on Lawrence’s knee “Forgive me if I speak out of turn but I was under the impression our association recently became more of an intimate one”

Lawrence tensed and stared at Freddy’s hand on his knee, it was such a small gesture yet there was no denying what the implication was.   
Lawrence took Freddy’s hand tilting it in the light, he pressed a kiss to his palm before he intertwined their fingers  
“You must understand you are under no obligation to consider me yours. I know I am just your father’s apprentice, that what I have to offer is little. I just wished that you know of my regard for you Frederick”

“You are solemn and serious, yet all I feel is completeness. And you may call me Freddy” Freddy said softly shuffling closer, Lawrence wrapped his arm around Freddy’s shoulder stroking his skin through the silk.

Lawrence rolled his eyes “You are young Freddy; you think not upon the consequences”

Freddy moved his hand to press against Lawrence’s face “When we are together, we need not think on the consequences, only on each other. Answer me this and only this. Do you want me?”

Lawrence leant forward to press their foreheads together “When I first came here I was seeking nought but education, but then I saw you, your perfect features, your kindness, your wit and now all I seek is you. I do, want you, damn me for it but I do”

Freddy’s whole body felt alive, he had never felt so close to another person before, so close that if they truly deeply touched, they would really become one. “Then it is agreed, I am yours and you are mine?”

Lawrence pulled away with a groan “How will be see each other? How will we find time?”

Freddy pulled him closer again, not wanting the distance “Letters. Notes. Meetings, you may grab me in the hall and pull me into your office”

“May I?” Lawrence asked, a knowing look in his eyes.

Freddy’s chest constricted and his words came out breathless “Yes. Tell me, what would you do?”

Lawrence chuckled “No single thing. Though tis nice to know you possess an adult imagination”

Freddy pouted folding his arms “If you are going to mock my emotions then I shall take my leave” the young lord stood as if to walk away and Lawrence grabbed him round the waist and tucked his nose into his neck. 

“Do not take your leave my love, I beg of thee” Lawrence cooed sarcastically.

Freddy giggled “You appear to be touching me Sir, intimate contact. Now, who is thinking adult thoughts?”

Lawrence played into his teasing “Wish it you that I remove my person from yours, lest I defile such precious cargo?”

“Nay Gentleman, this cargo dost wish to be defiled”

Lawrence nuzzled his neck before putting some distance between them   
“I shall defile you only through chaste and respectable means Freddy, if you shall accept my courtship? I should ask your father, but we are both aware what his swift response and action would be”

Freddy smiled shyly “If I shall accept you say…we shall see Mr Dimmick, we shall see”

Lawrence ‘s disappointment was written all over his face, but Freddy thought he deserved the chance to make him sweat, after all he had done his own bit of teasing earlier on in their conversation.   
Despite his obvious disheartenment Lawrence still bowed respectfully “I am going nowhere and much anticipate your answer of course”

Freddy gestured to the book on the ground “Will you read to me a while? I know we cannot have much time left but- “

Lawrence cut him off “I would be glad to do so, take my hand, we cannot risk too much noise here in the open” 

Freddy’s heart fluttered as Lawrence held Maurice in his hand and extended his other to Freddy. When their hands touched Freddy felt as if everything had become so real, Lawrence’s hand was warm and weathered from his previous hard labour jobs yet he was gentle as he lead Freddy into the woods, Freddy did not recognise the clearing they eventually ended up at but he felt as if he were in some great classical romance, the moonlight broke through the trees and shed light on a certain soft looking patch of grass.

He and Lawrence sat down, Freddy began to hate himself at that moment because as soon as Lawrence began to read, he felt sleep hit him like a brick. He manoeuvred himself to be more comfortable, laying his head in Lawrence’s lap, he was just beginning to doze when he felt Lawrence’s fingers run through his hair soothingly. He had never expected this outcome, for Lawrence to be so sweet to him and a part of him reminded him that Lawrence was better without him, after all they were of a different class, their courtship could come to nothing, they could not marry.

Oh, but to be loved this way, to be held so tenderly and touched so kindly, Lawrence was all he saw and now he suspected that he was all that Lawrence saw.   
He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew Larry was gently shaking him awake “Freddy? Come on now angel, you must rouse yourself”

“L-Larry?” Freddy murmured, revealing his secret nickname in his post nap haze.

Lawrence laughed, the warmth of it warming Freddy’s chilled body. “Larry huh? Yes, tis me. Come on now, I hate for us to part but I wish not to further disturb your sleep”

Freddy laid his hand on Larry’s cheek “And you have work”

Larry pressed a quick kiss to Freddy’s forehead “Yes my dear, I have work. Parting is such sweet sorrow”

“I shall say good night till it be morrow.” Freddy recited back dutifully.

Larry helped Freddy to his feet which was tricky because Freddy was sleepy and just wanted to press his entire body and its weight against Larry. The stroll back to the main house was solemn, the reality of their parting soured the mood, yet it did not stop Freddy holding Larry’s hand right up until they reached the side door of the house. 

Freddy hesitated on the steps “Will you send word?”  
He had never felt such vulnerability in his life, he was baring his heart to this man, his heart and his true soul, the fact would be terrifying if Lawrence Dimmick wasn’t such a well mannered character, though he be low born, he was mighty of heart, they should have called him Lion heart not the old King Richard.

Larry took Freddy’s hands in his “I swear it. As soon as I can, I will write”

“I feel as if I have just discovered another heart within my chest and now it is being stripped from me”

Larry’s face softened “I am sorry to put salt in the wound but, you must go”

“I wish it were not so”

“As do I”

Silence hung in the air between them before Larry raised Freddy’s knuckles to his lips and kissed them adoringly “Until soon Freddy, until soon”

Freddy forced himself to walk away and to not look back, he climbed into his bed as soon as he got inside his room and tucked Maurice under his pillow, desperate to receive some comfort for it.


	2. Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three letters from throughout their relationship

March 23rd 2018  
Freddy,  
I loathe to say I am always tired from work, you are all that is right in this world, in my heart, in this house we share, I dream you in the servants quarters amongst us, you would thrive with us my love I would ensure it. I think upon our first meeting last week so softly and wish you to know my affections are unwavering.  
I would brave the consequences to see you once again tomorrow night, or shall we go to the late Sunday drive in? I am at your disposal always, knock once at the office door if tis to be tomorrow and twice if this Sunday   
Yours always, Larry

Jan 29th, 2019  
My heart,  
Had I not kissed you this night would you ever have been so bold? I hope you are as glad for it as I am, I have caught you staring.  
I liked the film very much, I liked your company even more so, I almost wish you had not distracted me so thoroughly. My heart aches for you, I have read and re-read Maurice and committed parts to memory so that when we next meet, I may recite it for you.  
Eddie and Vic wish desperately to meet you, they know you affectionately as ‘my suitor’, do not worry I am saying nothing, I hope to see you soon  
Yours, Freddy

April 2020  
Freddy,  
Happy 18th birthday my darling,  
I shall find a way to communicate with you as soon as I can, you are aware me and your father are toiling away on the Kiddo case.  
I hope you will like my gift, remember that I love you always  
Yours ever lovingly, Larry


	3. Middle 2.0

Lawrence,  
I am writing urgently, after dinner my father admitted to me that he has entered me into a marriage with the Duchess Elizabeth. I need to see you immediately, we must discuss this, I am in such great need of you this letter is a struggle to pen coherently.   
Come to my rooms at your earliest convenience  
Please hurry, I seek comfort in your arms and advice from you, whom I know to be so wise  
Freddy.

Freddy was not proud to say he cried when he was faced with a visibly concerned Larry. Larry shut the door behind him, and Freddy fell into his arms with an ease that only came from such a well-established relationship.

Larry held him through his sobbing, a force of calm in such a violent storm “Hey sweetheart, it’s alright let it out”

Larry cupped Freddy’s face “Can you not get out of it? How bad of a situation are we in here?”

Freddy didn’t want to speak, he knew his words could not fix what had been done, his engagement had been legally secured by his father personally and the pure secrecy of the affair heavily implied that Joe had somewhat of an idea how displeased his son would be.  
When Freddy refused to speak Larry let out a broken sob, it wasn’t often Freddy was speechless and the gravity of the situation weighed them both down.

“How long do we have Freddy?” The Apprentice spoke softly, his eyes watering with unshed tears.

The younger man covered his lover’s hands with his own, seeing in his eyes the same pain spreading across his chest and choking him.

“A month at best. Larry, I am so sorry. I had no choice in this if I had a choice I would- “

Larry’s broken voice interrupted him “Do not finish that thought, we may not speak of what could have been, only what will be”

Freddy kissed Larry with such softness that Larry felt if he were not so solid, he could have melted into nothing. Freddy was his everything, his heart was manufactured to love this young man, the son of his employer, such a cruel hand fate had gifted them.

“You must promise you shan’t withdraw from me!” Freddy broke out violently, he looked so frantic that Larry was worried he’d work himself into hysteria.

“Frederick, I must. Surely you understand it”  
Freddy crumbled again in Larry’s arms, he clung to him so tightly that he’d be surprised if he didn’t have handprint bruises the same size as Freddy’s hands on his upper arms the next morning.

“Then you do not love me enough Lawrence. Not enough” Freddy insisted, the sound of his crying muffled by his tears and sniffling. It was not often Larry was reminded of Freddy’s tender youth, but now he felt he were cradling a terrified child, a child so blinded by his love that he saw nought but the fairy-tale outcome. But Larry knew the truth, he would never have Freddy for his own, he could not possess Freddy’s heart for much longer and then he must make himself scarce for he never had loved another like he had loved Freddy, the pain of seeing him beside another human would break him, would shatter what he had left of his gentle soul.

“Nay too much my love, I fear it be too much”

“Too much?” Freddy inquired, looking up at him with eyes wide and framed by wet eyelashes.

“My heart will break for you; I cannot bear to stay and to see you with another”

“You cannot leave! We can continue when I am wed”

Larry ran his fingers through Freddy’s hair fondly “Would not be proper”

Freddy tensed in his arms and the with one big huff, pushed Larry away from him with all his strength.  
“Then you leave my rooms.”

Larry laughed in disbelief “You cannot seriously be angered by me my lord?”

“I am angered by your willingness to give me over to her!”

Larry’s laughter died in his throat and Freddy’s anger gave birth to a new kind of frustration.  
“Willingness? What must I be but willing! You seek me as your shoe ty-er, I must be willing! Your father seeks me as his personal slave, I must be willing! And now I am to lose you, the only light in mine own heart, you wish me to stay beside you and watch whilst thou lovest her like thou lovest me this small eternity. I will not be willing this occasion Frederick and I am not sorry for it”

Freddy stared at his lover for a while before he spoke next, he extended his hand to the elder man “If tis true and I will save your heart by allowing you to leave this place then I shan’t stop you. But I will ask that you stay”

“Stay?”

“Here. With me. For these few moments”

Larry’s heart softened and he smiled gently at the man before him, evidence of Freddy’s distress was written all over him, his face was wet with tears and his hair was sticking up in all directions because of Larry’s petting.

“If I can stay with you, if tis an option, then I always shall”

Freddy climbed into his bed and pulled the sheets back to allow Larry space beside him, there was something so sacred about the entire activity, Freddy’s bed was large, but it seemed they naturally gravitate towards each other. Freddy settled with his head on Larry’s chest and thought back on how much emotion they shared between each other despite their lack of physical intimacy, Larry always saw such activities as dirty and tarnishing but Freddy wondered if his mind had changed now that they had fallen in love with each other.

Larry, however, was thinking on his next moves, he would leave, but where would he go? His apprenticeship was very important to his livelihood, he could ask Cabot to certify and endorse him a few months early (he was set to finish up in six months), he could cite his mother’s declining and poor health as the reason, then he could stay by her side and take care of her as she grew weaker, he knew it wasn’t the most pleasant of jobs but rather that to seeing Freddy tie himself to another.

Larry spoke again after a while, he couldn’t tell how long it had been because he could hold Freddy in his arms forever,   
“I shan’t tell you”

Freddy sat up a little, giving him a quizzical look “Hm?”

Larry looked away, not wanting to see the expression on his love’s face change. “When I leave. I shan’t name the day. I think it best for both of us, not to have to deal with saying goodbye face to face”

Freddy was silent for a moment, as if pondering the information and then accepting it. 

“If that be your wish then I shan’t protest”

Larry kissed the pout from his lips “Thank you”

“Thank not me, thank lady luck though she be fickle, she be gentle to us”

Larry laughed softly “You would have made as fine a poet as Taliesin himself Freddy”

Freddy only looked back at him, a sorrowful smile on his face and an arm behind his head. Although he was beside his lover he could not stop the poisonous dark thoughts surrounding his upcoming nuptials from ruining his happiness, he only hoped he could find a way for he was not as weathered and downcast as Larry, his youth gave him enthusiasm and hope, even if it be for nought.


End file.
